NZ- Friday, 12/17

Friday, 12/17 8:53pm (HI time), HNL-Gate 25

(editor's note: I won't be doing many of these, but I feel its fair warning that the first few days journals might be a little slower or of lower writing quality. This is due to tiredness, jet lag, and getting back in to the groove of writing a journal. It gets better quickly, I promise.)

Waiting to board the plane to NZ. Pretty excited, but first we have to get through the flight. Plenty of personal and provided in-flight distractions so I'm not too worried.

The goal of this journal is to record, daily hopefully, the events and impressions of our honeymoon to the island nation of New Zealand. This was I'll be better able to remember the trip and my immediate impressions during, as well as add later realizations and revelations as they come to me. Right now I'm enjoying listening to the New Zealand accent from the elderly gentleman across from me. Pretty sure it won't get old.

Approx 6 hours to landing

Dinner on board was very good. I had a chicken dish and Angela had beef and pasta. Hers was better. She's sleeping now.

As soon was we got on the plane we started messing with the in-seat touch screen fanciness. I watched two episodes of Top Gear and two episodes of The Big Bang Theory. Then it cut out on me and I can't get the touch screen to respond to my touch anymore. Time to get out Lost I guess.

The lady in the seat in front of me has reclined her seat as far back as it will go. I want to tap her on the top of the head but I won't.

Tired. Should try to sleep. Will make tomorrow (today?) easier.

Time to destination- 2 hours 36 minutes

Slept some! Yay!

Time to destination- 24 minutes

Captain just announced it's 5:43am on Sunday, December 19^th. We skipped Saturday. *cue Doc Brown impression* Great Scott! We found 1.21 jiggawatts!

Soon we'll be landed, then through customs where we must declare our Cliff Bars and then the train to Aukland.

NZ Introduction: The Grizwolds Go To New Zealand

If I'm honest, the honeymoon was planned before the wedding. We knew where we wanted to go. We talked about how we would get around and what the basic plan would be during a hike months before a ring was bought or a proposal was thought of. Originally we were going to try to hit both New Zealand and, as I saw it referred to on a T-shirt (the most effective way of judging a culture), the West Island of Australia. This was later scrapped when we priced plane tickets for that hop and saw the amount of things to do in New Zealand.

You see, the whole “its an island” thing is very misleading. I live on an island. It isn't very big. Three weeks on this island would be more than enough time to hit every relevant thing you would like to do as a tourist. Twice.

The island of New Zealand is somewhat larger than Hawaii. So large, in fact, it is its own country. With its own money and everything. This, I think, should have been a clue. Imagine our surprise then, when we realized that three weeks is not nearly enough time to see and do a fraction of the awesome that is the NZ (and that's “Zed”, we are speaking the Queen's English after all).

The following is my daily journal from our three weeks honeymoon traveling around the land of the long white cloud and the short brown bird. It is sometimes funny, occasionally introspective, possibly serious, and may occasionally feel like being poked in the eye with a sharp stick or beaten over the head with a soapbox. It features laughs, love, food, driving on the wrong side of the road, accents, Kiwis, kiwis, pain, motorcycle sad, Top Gear jokes, cliches, hiking, boat rides, shopping, yarn, rugby, wine, school, and a caravan named Captain Slow.

And sheep. Lots and lots of sheep.

There is no way I would remember half of the trip in a year (six months. Ok, next week) if I hadn't written it all down in the very nice leather-bound journal Angela got me for my birthday pretty much for this purpose. So this is for us. For our memories and so we can look at our pictures and say, “Where was that again?” and be able to figure it out. So we know what we did this time so when we go next time we know where we've been, where we've yet to go, and where we need to revisit. But we are a sharing people, and you must be interested or you wouldn't have opened this page, so welcome to our trip.

Mind the sheep.

A Slightly Less Epic NZ Update

We are in Hokitika on the South Island, sitting in a EZY Video store and I have 30 minutes on my two dollar coin. That's right, they have a two dollar coin here. Wild, right?
We've been driving all over the place and have seen tons of NZ. We did not go to Christchurch, so if you were reading about the aftershocks that have been rocking the city don't worry about us. Thats not why we didn't go, though. We didn't go because I was talking to a local about our plans and mentioned Christchurch and he said, "Don't go to Christchurch, its rubbish. Just another town, innit? Fulla shops." Then he grabbed a map and showed us a way to go that would be much better, to see "Real New Zealand." So we took him up on his suggestion.
Spent the last two days driving through the mountains and being blown away. I've taken to pulling over at pullouts just so I can really get a look at our surroundings. Epic. Everything about this country. The mountain roads and fantastic and Captain Slow (the caravan, remember?) and I are working together very well to get us through. I still have motorcycle jealous and haven't seen a rental place, which is either good or bad.
Yesterday we stopped at a tiny little mountain town called Reefton which isn't in any of our guidebooks but Angela had found a brochure for them at an iSite (place for tourists full of information on the surrounding area) we stopped at. They are having a Summer Festival and yesterday was Reefton Trots, so we checked it out. Pretty cool. Horse races but the jockeys ride on little chariots behind the horse. We didn't bet. We couldn't understand the slip. All of Reefton was out, some in their race day finest, and that was cool to see. Told one teenage girl we were from Hawaii and she turned to her friend and did the little excited arm flap and exclaimed, "Hawaii!" Oh yeah, you probably don't get many tourists here. Cool.
The food here is excellent (helps that Angela is cooking it). Still shopping as local as possible. She has bag of yarn and a few slabs of lamb in the camper so when we pass sheep on the road she says to them, "I have summa you in here with me!"
This has been a lot of fun so far. The caravan isn't as cramped feeling as I thought it was going to be. Today is New Year's Eve and we'll be spending it at camp, relaxing. Should be very nice.
Miss and love all of you (except for you, you know who you are). Happy New Year!

We Are Not Dead! (A NZ Update of Epic Proportions)

Aloha from New Zealand's South Island! I am currently in Picton at the internet cafe attatched to a hostel we aren't staying at. Hopefully the internet lasts long enough for me to hammer a blog out before it crashes on me (again).
We've been having a great trip. Aukland was awesome and there was some great cuty hiking to be done, which got did. Some shopping, siteseeing, and other touristy stuff also got did. Very much the fun.
About five days ago we picked up our caravan, who I have named Captain Slow. The Captian is an excellent vehicle and a welcome addition to our adventure. Adventure sometimes equals learning to drive on the wrong side of the road, from the wrong side of the car, shifting and using turn singals with the wrong hands, and doing all this for the first time in the middle of a major city. But we aren't dead! I think I'm doing rather well, actually. Except for occasionally using the wipers to signal a turn or *splash splash*ing the windshield to let the person in front of me know they have space to come over. (Note: If you do this, your wofe who you love will laugh at you about it for the rest of the trip. "Haha, splash splash.")
Camping has been fun and with the expetion of last night we haven't had any trouble finding a campervan site. So far all of our camping, again expect last night, has been in camping parks. We expect to do some free camping down on South Island, where it might be a little more open and feasible.
We tried to Sype home on Christmas (yours, not ours). McDonalds, "Bringing America's Obesity to the World," has free Wifi, which we learned from a nice Dutch couple we camped next to for a night. "Go for the internet, not the food," he told us. Well, for whatever reason McD's wifi and Angela's Skype on her phone doesn't work together. So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all back in the states and pretend that you're talking to us on the phone saying that.
New Zealand is beautiful, as everyone knows from Lord of the Rings. That, by the way, seems to be the biggest movie in the world here. LotR stuff is everywhere. But no hobbitts yet. We will find them, those filthy nasty Hobbittses, yes we will. Thinking about hiking around Mount Doom when we get back to North Island.
We've done two museum, getting our culture on. We've taken over 600 pictures, which we are going to painstakingly go through with each and every one of you untl you feel like you were right here with us the whole trip.
Kiwis are almost clichely friendly. The worst service we've had in a restaraunt so far has been because our server was an American import from...wait for it....Texas! Ohhh, thank you for playing. But smiles, help, and wonderful accents from everyone else. I love listening to these people talk!
On our city hike through Aukland we passed the Aukland Grammer School, a massive all boys public high school. We wandered through just to get a look at it (and because when teachers visit other countries they have to see what schools look like) and accidently met up with the deputy headmaster (vice principal). The school is on Christmas holiday, like ours, but he was so proud of it he stopped what he was doing and gave us a full on tour. Amazing. My mind is blown both by the school and by Dep. Headmaster John hooking us up like that.
I'm suffering from an acute case of bike envy and bike sad and bike jealous. New Zealand's Ministry of Transportation does not believe in roads that cut through the landscape, opting instead to flow over and with the countryside. This means everything takes longer to get through but you don't care because the road is bendy and beautiful the whole time.
Angela has sampled some of the local wines (yes dad, we are keeping notes and there will be a full report) and says they are all very good. We've been going out of our way to be sure to buy almost exclusively New Zealand-grown and made food, and so far all of it is excellent. Such good stuff.
We visited Sheepworld (of course), Devonport, Rotorua, and a bunch more places too numerous to name. We pass sheep constanly grazing on the side of the road, and open field cattle too (Matt, we moo at them and think of you). I've been journaling and have pages and pages and pages filled.
Ok, I'm going to wrap this up. Merry Christmas, Happy Boxing Day, and Happy New Years to all. Think in metric for us. We aren't dead! Yay!

Dear America, (A To Do List While I'm Away)

Dear America,

-Could you please get rid of Don't Ask, Don't Tell? I'm tired of reading about it in the papers, tried of people trying desperately to justify how it might hurt our fighting ability, and tired of the defenders of the Land of the Free not actually being, you know, FREE. (Really, you should get over yourselves and let the gays marry already too. I'm looking at you, Hawaii. This is bullshit.)
-Could you also please pass the 9/11 First Responders Bill? It's disgusting that it hasn't happened yet. These people are sick and dying and not getting any help and you are bickering about tax cuts for the upper 1%. Which reminds me...
-Fuck the Rich. Fuck them in their stupid asses. They should be paying more taxes. These rich, white mutherfuckers do not need the Bush era tax cuts. I realize I'm behind the eight ball on this because the Dems already pussyed up, but still.
-Get rid of the Jersery Shore people's fame. Their fifteen minutes has to be up by now, why haven't they gone away? Why is one of them, The DoucheNozzle I think he's called, on the cover of Men's Fitness? This is insulting for all of us.
-Stop. Making. 3D. Movies. Just stop it. I blame James Cameron for bringing it back, and it was pretty cool in Avatar, I have to admit. But it's over now. It's been over for six months. When I get back I don't want to be offered $15 glasses so I can leave the movie with vertigo and a headache.
-The Palin should be eaten by a bear and her crew should catch it on film and the 24 hour news networks should loop it at least until my plane lands. That's not so much a To Do as it is a Christmas wish, but it belongs on the list.
-This one is for the parents. Parents, Holiday break does not mean its time for your kids to not read, write, or do math for three weeks. Their brains are little Etch-A-Sketches right now and if they shake too hard all the things we've been trying to draw will go away. Get the child a book for Christmas and watch them read it. Then ask them real questions about it. Make them do running totals in the supermarket. Anything to keep those little brains off life support.
-Don't go see the new Fockers movie. It only encourages them to make movies based solely on how the title will read on the poster.
-Leave Mike Vick alone. He went to jail for his crime, get off his back. There are plenty of potential felons actively playing today to jump on. Here's hoping he makes it deep enough into the playoffs to be torpedoed by Andy Reid's horrible decision making. And while we're on the subject of the NFL, stop carrying on about it being a "man's sport" and how the guys are "gladiators." Fuck that. Where are the lions on the field then? That'll screw up Brady's pass protection. The NFL should stop talking about an 18 game regular season and stop giving lip service to helmet to helmet hits and concussions. NFL Cares needs to be a real thing. Also, while I'm gone I'd like at least one Sure Thing to fall completely apart. And I'd like the Favre to announce his retirement, then have his leg cut off by his riding tractor after he falls beneath it while fainting from the shock of Jen Sterger serving him with a lawsuit.
-I'd like Phillies fans to crow just a little bit louder about their pitching line-up because that will make them losing in the first or second round all the sweeter.
-At least two good bands should book shows on Oahu for the coming year. Someone I care about and who isn't so old my parents could have gone to see them when they were my age.
-And a small part of me would be really amused if Facebook completely crashed after we spent the entire year worshiping Zuckerberg. So, even though I enjoy the Facebook, that would be neat.
Ok, America. I realize there are a lot of things on this list that you need to get done and you only have three weeks to do them, but I believe you can. This is a lot of responsibility I'm leaving with you while I'm away. New Zealand is going to be asking about you and I'm going to tell them about all the wonderful things you're getting done without my supervision.

Love and Kisses,
Dirtbag

P.S. Really, DADT and the 9/11 Bill would be a great start. And the Palin/bear thing. Thanks.

Let Down at the Airport

I flew from Honolulu to Seattle and back this Thanksgiving break, next week I'll be flying to Dallas, and two weeks after that I'll be flying to New Zealand. Lets just say HNL and I are going to become very close this holiday season.
Also happening this holiday season is the fake uproar over the new security measures TSA is implementing all over the country. Everywhere grown people are getting to act like children because the government is trying to keep them safe. "You want to scan me? HELL NO! What? Then you're going to frisk me? How dare you! By the way, what are you doing to keep my plane safe?" The whole thing is much ado about nothing as far as I'm concerned. We like to complain, TSA has a lousy customer service record, and those who complain loudest get the most air time. Perfect storm of lazy news coverage. The truth? Those opt-out protests, much like the Don't Buy Gas on X Day fake protests, didn't happen. No person with a plane ticket in their pocket is going to make it more difficult for themselves than it already is to get from where they are to where they want to be. The brief fame of the, "I'll have you arrested," dummy has faded and we are accepting this change as we have accepted so many before. You have a choice: get scanned or searched OR don't fly. Which plane you getting on? The one where everyone got searched or the one with 400 unsearched, unscanned flyers on it?
I, for one, was excited about the prospect of being scanned and/or patted down. This is science fiction, folks! This is that scene in Total Recall when Ah-nold goes running through the scanner at the airport (spaceport?) and we see his skeleton with the gun! We don't have flying cars, lightsabers, or transporters, but we have body scanners. That's close enough to being in the future for me. And I should be worried that some guy in a room somewhere is looking at a unclear scan of me that kind of shows me without any clothes on? Oh no! Quick, where's my lead Under Roos? That'll teach those perverts who obviously signed up to be airport security on the off chance they might get to check out digital renderings of random people. Think about the last time you were at the airport (or anywhere public in America). How many of those people would you want to see naked? Right.
As for being patted down, who cares? I'm fit and I have negative personal space (I'm not comfortable unless I'm invading your space). Feel me up. Its going to take four seconds and I'd rather a good, thorough job be done than a half-assed, "Missed the knife, dumbass" job. So get up in there. What sucks more, really? That I have to stand there for an enhanced pat down for four seconds or that this poor schmuck who just signed up for a minimum wage gig was told in a staff meeting two weeks ago that his six hour shift will be spent touching the junk of every other fat ass coming through the airport? His job blows. Shoulda finished that GED, bro.
But did I get any of that? No! I had to take off my boots, throw my belt in the plastic basket, and walk through the old metal detector like this was August 2001! WTF? I finally did get scanned in SeaTac on the way home and it was faster, easier, and so anti-climactic I almost asked for my money back. I didn't feel microwaved and am patiently waiting for my radiation-induced superpowers. Now if I can just figure out a way to get felt up next time...

Awesome Chilean Miner Story

Read this story in the paper today about one of the miners:
It seems that along with all the other families were getting together to prepare to greet the miners as they were brought up, one guy's wife came.
So did his girlfriend.
They met.
By the time the guy reached the surface his wife was gone, but the girlfriend was still there.
Personally, if I was that guy and I found out that was happening I would have asked to stay down, just to keep an eye on the hole.