Saturday, December 7, 2013

Raging Nerd-On

A friend and I decided we are starting a band called Raging Nerd-On
I will now present the list of song names we spent an hour texting back and forth, many of which will be on our first album, "Vigors, Buffs, and Cheats".
  • I'm Not a Cylon (Whoops, I Was Wrong)
  • He's a Cheating Bastard (At Mario Party)
  • Button Mashing Apology
  • I Thought It Was Love, Turns Out It Was LARP
  • Upgrade Mistakes/Useless Perks
  • Increase My Mouse Sensitivity
  • Paragon on the Streets, Renegade in the Sheets
  • She Needs a Walkthrough
  • Killed By Lag
  • I'll Love You Like a Lanister
  • We Weren't Drift Compatable
  • Our Love Won't Regenerate (Chest High Walls)
  • My Baby Loves Jar Jar
  • Commenter's Lament (Worse Than Hitler remix)
  • Come Into My Hobbit Hole (feat. DJ Bob the Pony)
  • She's Practical, But I'm CGI
  • You've Got A Lot of NERV
  • I Can't Reboot Our Love
  • Set Phasers to Sexy
  • Damnit, I'm a Rocker (Not a Doctor)
  • I Used To Be In Love With You (Then I Took An Arrow To The Heart)
  • Dive Into My Haystack
  • I'll Be On the (Table)Top
  • Open World, Lonely Heart
  • I Wanna Take A PeekAtYou
  • Shake The Mass (Effect Field)
  • Up, Up, Down, Down, Select, Start Lovin' Me
  • Press X to Hold Me
  • You Leveled Up My Heart
  • I'm In Love (With a Holodeck Dame)
  • Natural 20...In My Pants 
  • He Makes Me WETA 
  •  **Bonus Secret Track**
    • Winter Is Coming (All Over Your Face)

Saturday, February 11, 2012

NZ- Saturday, 1/8

Saturday, 1/8, Flight NZ10, Over the Pacific Ocean
I think every single person on the plane but me is watching or has watched “The Social Network” on their seat back viewers. I've watched a game and a half off All Blacks rugby. Not a poseur! Rugby is much less confusing than cricket, and much faster than American football. I'm not sure why we haven't given it a more public try yet (by the way, there is a rugby pun in there, can you find it?). NFL is too strong probably. They better hope there's no lockout. The Rugby World Cup is in October and football fans with no '11-'12 season could discover the game at its highest level. Hey, we nearly cared about soccer. And rugby is way more interesting than that.
Security at Auckland International was cake even compared to HNL. “Do we need to take off our shoes?” *polite scoff* “No, its fine. Go ahead and leave your change in your pockets too, we know what coins are here. We are what you might call 'civilized'. Go on through.” Ok, that might not have been exactly what he said, but the basic idea is there. It was fast, painless, and supremely easy.
I spent my free time at the airport feeling the NZ$25 cash I still have burning a hole in my pocket. Sadly, I could find nothing I wanted and am bringing back money I can't use. We could convert it back at HNL, but I think I may hold on to it. Never know when we'll be back to the land of the long white cloud and the short brown bird.
As we fly the plane's flux capacitor is fluxing and we are generating the 1.21 gigawatts needed to travel back in time to yesterday, when we will land at 8pm Friday, which is when we were packing to fly back. At least no wormhole or flight path which includes a slingshot around the sun is needed...I don't think. And the plane does seem bigger on the inside. (Is that enough scifi time travel jokes? Have I covered every major tv show and movie? Oh wait.) Also we don't have to be naked for it to work. And don't forget that San Dimas High School football rules! (There, now I think I'm done.)
I can't put in to words how much we enjoyed this trip, though looking back it sure seems I've tried. Hopefully some of them did the job. Aside from a few small things (passing a kidney stone while camping, anyone?) I wouldn't have changed a thing.

NZ- Friday, 1/7

Friday, 1/7- Best Western BK, Auckland
My cycling shirt will eventually wear out, as will my new All Blacks shirt and my kangaroo leather hat. But my final souvenir, that will last forever.
When we awoke we went in to super-mega clean mode on the inside of Captain Slow, getting him as empty of gray water, full of fresh water, and cleaned of all things dirty as we could. Along with that we packed all of our things into something, anything to make the transfer to hotel as quick and easy as possible.
Then it was off to Auckland in one big, four-hour hop, stopping only to pee, put a snack together, and be sure the propane tank was full. We figured on dropping the Captain off a little early so that we could have a little more time.
Not so much. We had told the company when we picked up Captain Slow that we would drop him off at 3:30. We arrived at 2:00. No one was there. We called and luckily only had to wait twenty minutes for the guy. It was the same one that brought us the camper. He remembered us when we mentioned visiting Sheep World. He took us to the motel.
We checked in and then set about finding a decent tattoo shop. The bus ride in to Auckland main, Plan A, would have taken over an hour. Fail. Plan B appeared in the form of Nesian Tattoo, a studio quite literally two minutes walk from our room. Hooray. And the shop looked clean. Hooray. And the portfolios were really good. Hooray. And they had an opening, no waiting. Hooray. Cash in hand took a seat and got matching silver ferns on the outside of our left forearm/wrist. They are small, only an inch and a half or so long and maybe an inch wide at the thickest point and will be easy to cover. Left side because that's the wedding ring side. Same stencil. I think they are the perfect honeymoon souvenir.
Dinner was a short walk away at a Greek/Italian/Indian place called The Bar and Baa. Good food, shaky service.
We're now in the room trying to make everything we bought *cough seventeenkilosofyarn cough* fit in to our bags. Well, she is. She's better at it and I'd be in the way.
We don't want to go.
Oh yeah, the guy who did our ink was a big Samoan named Joe. My tiki was done by Joe, the shark on my ribs was done by JoeJoe. Moral- Guys named Joe become tattoo artists. He was very cool but it was a trip to listen to him talk because the voice that came out of him was not the voice we are used to hearing out of guys that look like him. Big Samoan at home means heavy pidgin. Here? Soft-spoken with that wonderful Kiwi accent.
Our flight is at 10am and we need to arrive three hours early. Early night tonight then (in a real bed! Yay!) and early morning tomorrow. Like I said before, we don't want to go.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

How They Named It: NC Edition

[Scene: BOARDROOM. Four BUSINESS MEN sitting around a table. The BOSS sits at the head of the table. A PRODUCT PITCHMAN stands at the far end of the table next to a  veiled placard]

BOSS: Ok, what is the next big thing we will be releasing on the unsuspecting public? What are we selling today?

PRODUCT PITCHMAN: Sir, I think you will be very pleased with this. We've been working very hard on it and are quite proud of it.

B: Enough with the set-up. Get on with it. I've got a lunch meeting to get to.

PP: Yes, sir. Gentlemen, what we have developed is the kitchen tool cooks everywhere have been waiting for. This product will make available and easy many of the recipes the common household cook has never yet been able to prepare.

B: Lunch meeting.

PP: Gentlemen, have you ever tried to mash almonds or walnuts? What about peanuts, cashews, or pecans? Have you made almond-crusted salmon? Pecan pie? Chili con Cashew? Home-made peanut butter? What a pain! What a mess. No longer! Not with this!

Real product! No Foolin'!


BOSS: So it's called the...

PP: Nut Chopper, sir! It chops nuts.

B: Does it?

PP: [enthusiastically] Yes, sir! Chops them right up. Nothing chops nuts like the Nut Chopper! Just put your nuts in there and the Nut Chopper will grind them right up!

BUSINESS MAN #1: I don't know. I've got some awful big nuts.

PP: The Nut Chopper can handle any size nut. I've personally tested this product myself with my very own nuts.

BM #2: Sometimes my nuts can get pretty hard. Would that be a problem?

PP: Not at all. The Nut Chopper handles hard nuts as well as older, softer nuts. Though that does sometimes result in a thick paste.


PP: Hmm, I wonder what his problem is.

B: [not amused] I can't imagine. So, did you, er, field test many names before you settled on, er...

PP: The Nut Chopper? No, sir. We thought about a few other names. The Nut Grinder was in the running for a while.

[ASIDE- BM#1 TO BM#3]- My ex-wife would buy that!

PP:A few people really loved Nut Muncher. And The Nut Master was in the running for a while there, too. Nuternator was also kicked around.  [BM #1 AND #3 FALL TO FLOOR LAUGHING. BM#4 LOOKS AT BOSS, WHO STARES HARD BACK AS IF DARING HIM TO FOLLOW SUIT]

PP: You guys just get a funny text or something? [NEITHER BM #1 OR #3 ARE ABLE TO ANSWER]

PP: Anyway, boss, there you go. We have ten thousand packages for the Nut Chopper all ready [BM #2 JOINS #1 AND #3 ON THE FLOOR]. I can't wait for chefs all over America to put their nuts into our Chopper and start cranking away!

B: [sighs] No, I bet you can't. Ship it out.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Fun With Homophones

Just had this conversation with one of my students:

"Mr. Robertson, how many are we supposed to do?"
"For the vocab thing."
"For practicing the vocabulary words so we get better at it."
"For...ohhhhh. Ok, thanks."

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

NZ Pictures Day 10 & 11

Day 10- Barefooting and Seals

NZ Bacon!

I take artsy pictures

A lookout over Kaikoura


Sharka parked us in the ocean

Mr. Seal to you, American.

We love posed pictures!

Barefoot Guy hiking

Can't get enough of the pretty

"Matt! Cows!"


I shall climb you.

Because its there

I have conquered you!

These hurt more than little rocks

Angela: Queen of the Rocky Outcrop

I now conquer the flat rock!

The human colony

Burned foots


Lamb sausage was tasty tasty.

Day 11- Kaikoura to Hanmer Springs (feat. yarns and sheep!)


Such a happy whale

I've mentioned the pretty, right?

Fun = one lane bridge in a caravan

We a freaking cute!

Have we had pictures of sheep in a while?

Quick stop to stretch and pee in the bushes

Hehe, toot.

Where did you come from?!?

I see no apple tree! It fell far from the tree.

Stupid tar

Barefoot Jackass


Barefoot pride

Hiking With Yarn: Staring Angela

The river was deep but I swam it


Yarn loves

Gimme that come here you gaa!

I mentioned we ate well, didn't I?

Ohhh, so not good

It was a cold night

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

NZ Pictures Day 8 & 9

To see Angela's pictures and captions (she posted more pictures than I did) go here.

Day 8- The Museum and the Ferry

Keeping it together after passing a stone

Giant squid at Te Papa museum

Whale skeleton. It's, um, big.


What a kiwi looks like

Gigantic shell

All the nifty models hanging from the ceiling

Dino foots and my foots

Dino foots and her foots

Fossil picture taken for my students

Look, students, half a clam!

Its a meatasaurus

Curse your inevitable betrayal.

These are extinct. That's right, no moa.

Squished coin! Her trip is complete.

Native canoe

Nifty canoe picture inserted and taken for my students

I'm not dead!



Ferry boarding passes

Much yummy mint cookies

Here we go!

The Captain all settled in

It is somewhat windy up here

Cold and sleepy wife

Day 9- The Exeloo, Wine tasting, and Seals!

Our "camping" spot for the night. This may not have been entirely legal.

New Zealand bathroom technology amazes and astounds.

Yes, you did just look at five pictures of a bathroom.

Ketchup bottle!

I am all about this level of breakfast.

Marlborough county vineyards

But first...

Tasting? Oh my.

A factory for chocolate!

She's like an angel...

Note: Quilting, Fudge, Wine. Yes we stopped.

I'll take it!

The next bottle of wine purchased on the trip


Artsy Vineyard picture #1

Artsy Vineyard picture #2

Framingham had a pretty set up.


And swish.

Down in their cellar

Many much bottles

Get it? She's...yeah...

Grrrr, me strong!

We recommend a visit

Roadside veggies! Squee!

Ummm, what?

So we just...really? Huh, ok.

I really like this sign. No Burglars Allowed!

Name the two sports. Go ahead, silly American.

We haven't had a scenery shot in ages!
(and there could have been forty more in this post)

My overpriced coffee

Stupid tiny cup

We are here!

Ok, this is a little gay.

The hunter stalks his prey

I see water. I see flat rocks. I must skim.

Here there be seals.

Awww, lookit the little baby one!

There's some more of the pretty

And there again. You can't tell but it was freaking windy!

Site for the next two nights. Yes, that is the ocean right there.

Must investigate freezing cold water.

Honeymoon feets!

Sitting outside and reading.

View from the site.

i before e except after, wait..

Angela's Super Tiny Kitchen- Micro Edition

Getting her thoughts down after another long but excellent day