Tuesday, June 28, 2011

How They Named It: NC Edition

[Scene: BOARDROOM. Four BUSINESS MEN sitting around a table. The BOSS sits at the head of the table. A PRODUCT PITCHMAN stands at the far end of the table next to a  veiled placard]

BOSS: Ok, what is the next big thing we will be releasing on the unsuspecting public? What are we selling today?

PRODUCT PITCHMAN: Sir, I think you will be very pleased with this. We've been working very hard on it and are quite proud of it.

B: Enough with the set-up. Get on with it. I've got a lunch meeting to get to.

PP: Yes, sir. Gentlemen, what we have developed is the kitchen tool cooks everywhere have been waiting for. This product will make available and easy many of the recipes the common household cook has never yet been able to prepare.

B: Lunch meeting.

PP: Gentlemen, have you ever tried to mash almonds or walnuts? What about peanuts, cashews, or pecans? Have you made almond-crusted salmon? Pecan pie? Chili con Cashew? Home-made peanut butter? What a pain! What a mess. No longer! Not with this!

Real product! No Foolin'!


BOSS: So it's called the...

PP: Nut Chopper, sir! It chops nuts.

B: Does it?

PP: [enthusiastically] Yes, sir! Chops them right up. Nothing chops nuts like the Nut Chopper! Just put your nuts in there and the Nut Chopper will grind them right up!

BUSINESS MAN #1: I don't know. I've got some awful big nuts.

PP: The Nut Chopper can handle any size nut. I've personally tested this product myself with my very own nuts.

BM #2: Sometimes my nuts can get pretty hard. Would that be a problem?

PP: Not at all. The Nut Chopper handles hard nuts as well as older, softer nuts. Though that does sometimes result in a thick paste.


PP: Hmm, I wonder what his problem is.

B: [not amused] I can't imagine. So, did you, er, field test many names before you settled on, er...

PP: The Nut Chopper? No, sir. We thought about a few other names. The Nut Grinder was in the running for a while.

[ASIDE- BM#1 TO BM#3]- My ex-wife would buy that!

PP:A few people really loved Nut Muncher. And The Nut Master was in the running for a while there, too. Nuternator was also kicked around.  [BM #1 AND #3 FALL TO FLOOR LAUGHING. BM#4 LOOKS AT BOSS, WHO STARES HARD BACK AS IF DARING HIM TO FOLLOW SUIT]

PP: You guys just get a funny text or something? [NEITHER BM #1 OR #3 ARE ABLE TO ANSWER]

PP: Anyway, boss, there you go. We have ten thousand packages for the Nut Chopper all ready [BM #2 JOINS #1 AND #3 ON THE FLOOR]. I can't wait for chefs all over America to put their nuts into our Chopper and start cranking away!

B: [sighs] No, I bet you can't. Ship it out.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Fun With Homophones

Just had this conversation with one of my students:

"Mr. Robertson, how many are we supposed to do?"
"For the vocab thing."
"For practicing the vocabulary words so we get better at it."
"For...ohhhhh. Ok, thanks."

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

NZ Pictures Day 10 & 11

Day 10- Barefooting and Seals

NZ Bacon!

I take artsy pictures

A lookout over Kaikoura


Sharka parked us in the ocean

Mr. Seal to you, American.

We love posed pictures!

Barefoot Guy hiking

Can't get enough of the pretty

"Matt! Cows!"


I shall climb you.

Because its there

I have conquered you!

These hurt more than little rocks

Angela: Queen of the Rocky Outcrop

I now conquer the flat rock!

The human colony

Burned foots


Lamb sausage was tasty tasty.

Day 11- Kaikoura to Hanmer Springs (feat. yarns and sheep!)


Such a happy whale

I've mentioned the pretty, right?

Fun = one lane bridge in a caravan

We a freaking cute!

Have we had pictures of sheep in a while?

Quick stop to stretch and pee in the bushes

Hehe, toot.

Where did you come from?!?

I see no apple tree! It fell far from the tree.

Stupid tar

Barefoot Jackass


Barefoot pride

Hiking With Yarn: Staring Angela

The river was deep but I swam it


Yarn loves

Gimme that come here you gaa!

I mentioned we ate well, didn't I?

Ohhh, so not good

It was a cold night

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

NZ Pictures Day 8 & 9

To see Angela's pictures and captions (she posted more pictures than I did) go here.

Day 8- The Museum and the Ferry

Keeping it together after passing a stone

Giant squid at Te Papa museum

Whale skeleton. It's, um, big.


What a kiwi looks like

Gigantic shell

All the nifty models hanging from the ceiling

Dino foots and my foots

Dino foots and her foots

Fossil picture taken for my students

Look, students, half a clam!

Its a meatasaurus

Curse your inevitable betrayal.

These are extinct. That's right, no moa.

Squished coin! Her trip is complete.

Native canoe

Nifty canoe picture inserted and taken for my students

I'm not dead!



Ferry boarding passes

Much yummy mint cookies

Here we go!

The Captain all settled in

It is somewhat windy up here

Cold and sleepy wife

Day 9- The Exeloo, Wine tasting, and Seals!

Our "camping" spot for the night. This may not have been entirely legal.

New Zealand bathroom technology amazes and astounds.

Yes, you did just look at five pictures of a bathroom.

Ketchup bottle!

I am all about this level of breakfast.

Marlborough county vineyards

But first...

Tasting? Oh my.

A factory for chocolate!

She's like an angel...

Note: Quilting, Fudge, Wine. Yes we stopped.

I'll take it!

The next bottle of wine purchased on the trip


Artsy Vineyard picture #1

Artsy Vineyard picture #2

Framingham had a pretty set up.


And swish.

Down in their cellar

Many much bottles

Get it? She's...yeah...

Grrrr, me strong!

We recommend a visit

Roadside veggies! Squee!

Ummm, what?

So we just...really? Huh, ok.

I really like this sign. No Burglars Allowed!

Name the two sports. Go ahead, silly American.

We haven't had a scenery shot in ages!
(and there could have been forty more in this post)

My overpriced coffee

Stupid tiny cup

We are here!

Ok, this is a little gay.

The hunter stalks his prey

I see water. I see flat rocks. I must skim.

Here there be seals.

Awww, lookit the little baby one!

There's some more of the pretty

And there again. You can't tell but it was freaking windy!

Site for the next two nights. Yes, that is the ocean right there.

Must investigate freezing cold water.

Honeymoon feets!

Sitting outside and reading.

View from the site.

i before e except after y...no, wait..

Angela's Super Tiny Kitchen- Micro Edition

Getting her thoughts down after another long but excellent day