Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Advance Copy of Next Week's House episode

Through secret contacts in Hollywood (Olivia Wilde has a crush on me and sends me all kinds of stuff), I have managed to procure next week's House script. Spoiler Alert!

Scene: House's office. House, Foreman, Chase, Wilson, Cuddy, Lucas, Sick Person, Sick Person's Mother, Sick Peron's Father, Sick Person's Lover, 13, Woman For 13 to Make-Out With, and Taub present.

Forman: It's lupus!

House: It's never Lupus.The patient is lying. Check his...

Cameron enters

Cameron: I'm back.

House begins to mock her

Cameron leaves office then returns.

Cameron: I'm leaving the team.

House resumes mocking her

Cameron: I want back in. I quit.

Cameron leaves

Everyone looks at each other, waiting...

Cameron comes back

Cameron: I'm back.

Everyone stares at her, waiting...

Cameron turns and leaves

House: Anyway, give him these two simple pills and that will...

Cameron returns

Cameron: I-

Random fan bursts into office, snatches House's cane and beats her to death with it screaming

Random Fan (screaming): Diagnose this, bitch! Make up your damn mind already!

Random fan runs off in search of writer' offices

Roll Credits

I don't know about all of you out there in TV land, but I smell Emmy gold!